I am back...hopefully more often than not

I have been contemplating writing another blog for quite some time. It becomes a little more difficult as my interactions become less and less with complete strangers and more & more with people I know (as I don't get out of the house as often as I once did)... which means my blog topics would be real life real people who actually know me, thus making it a little hard to randomly blog about them. So, I will try to keep it real as best as possible without making my friends & family my target.

With that being said... my newest blog....


One of the things that I struggle with the most is being a working mom. I really like working and I really like being a mom, but the two together can be quite the stressor. I have thought & thought & can't really put my finger on what it is that really makes this combination killer, but trust me. It is.

I think the biggest thing about being a working mom is that you are just setting yourself up for disappointment in so many ways. There is never enough of you to go around, and the thinner that you are stretched, the easier your crazy button is triggered! :-)

I was thinking earlier about past 'disappointments' in my life. Most of these things only affected me, and most of these things weren't really that big of a deal. A bad date, a bad haircut, an hour stuck in traffic, a Chinese delivery man who was annoyingly late. All disappointing, yes, but they really don't hold a candle to the disappointment that a Working Mom sets herself up for.

I start my day by disappointing my son most days. Maybe that is the narcissistic mom in me - thinking that my son would rather spend the day with me rather than anyone else - but every morning as I make my way into the office, there is a nagging in the back of my head thinking, "Is what I am doing today really worth it vs. leaving JD behind in tears??"

Along the course of my day, there are so many things that cause true heartfelt disappointment in my life. Now, this is not to say that I do not enjoy myself & that I do not have major positive points throughout my day as well... I'm just trying to explain what it feels like to be a working mom... or maybe just a mom in general.

One thing that really disappoints me is when the people that I love are not as totally crazy about my son as I am. I mean, my son is the Bee's Knees. For real. :-) Now, I know that I love my son more than anyone else loves him. I know I have that "mother's love" that makes me hold his pedestal higher than anyone else sees him as, but still. Sometimes people that I know seem to forget that JD even exists. Isn't that annoying?? He is the A #1 thing in my life, and he has fallen off the radar of a lot of people, including people that I really love. I'm sure that I have probably committed similar offenses against my friends when I was younger & well... single, so I try not to hold it against them. But, other people that fall a little closer than the "friend" category... well, I expect these people to remember to make him a priority, and I find myself being disappointed when not everyone sees him as the natural wonder that he is.

On a lighter note, something else that is just plain disappointing as a mom is your body after children. I mean, honestly! What in the world?!?!? Why didn't someone warn me about this?? I remember a conversation that I had with a friend once about her preconceived notions about life after baby while she was pregnant. She told her aunt, "I'm just so amazed that your belly can stretch out so big during pregnancy and then after the baby is born, just suck down back to normal size." And her aunt laughed in response. :-) I wonder why.

I am 15 lbs lighter than the day that I got pregnant with JD, yet some of my old clothes still don't fit. Yes, they are too small. But, yet, I weigh 15 pounds less, so in all logical practicalities, one would think they would be too big. But no... they are too small. It's like that Yoplait commercial where the girl is in the cleaners and she's trying to tell ol' girl to take her pants in and ol' girl keeps saying "out" and the other girl keeps saying "No... in."

Only I guess it's really like the opposite of that. I guess I can blame part of that on my son and I can blame part of it on just getting old?

Something else that really bothers me about being a working mom is that there is never enough time in the day. I guess that really applies to all moms, though, "working" or not. I don't have enough time at work, and I don't have enough time at home. When one is going well, the other is not. It's a constant balancing act... a juggling routine with more & more balls thrown up in the air. Eventually, they will all come crashing down... unless I become a really good juggler.

Anyway, I know this blog is kind of depressing, but that is really just the mood I am in right now. Life lately has thrown us a few lemons, and we are in the midst of finding a really juicy lemonade recipe. :-)

Now, with all this said, I do love my son more than life itself, and I will pat myself on the back (because, heck, no one else is, lol!) and say that I am a damn good mom. And... even more than that, I have a dang wonderful son as well. :-)