I just threw up a little in my mouth!

Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, what a day I had yesterday. It was the day of landlording adventures... not close to the absolute disgust-ment that was Jim & Bernice, but the grossness stooped to a whole new level.

Jeremy and I went over to clean/paint/update one of the apartments in the building we own (which...as a sidenote... will someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE buy it???), and the day was filled with adventures as usual. We arrived to the apartment to find that on the surface it really wasn't as "bad" as I thought it would be. There had been a single guy in his late 20s ish that had lived there for the past 3 years, so you just know that it could not be good.

The flooring was atrocious and the bathtub was seriously BLACK from all the grime, and the ex-tenant was nice enough to leave his old shower curtain hanging there which had turned a weird shade of bluish gray from all of the soap scum and mildew.

But... while that did make me shudder and swear out loud as I thought about the time that we would have to get this place back up to snuff. It was not the worst.

Oh no, it gets better.

So... yours truly was going around painting the walls in the bedroom. I was preparing to paint and was taping off the walls where they met up with the carpet. All of the sudden I saw something very strange.

At first glance it looked like dried shreds of mozzarella cheese. I sat there puzzled for a minute at what exactly had made my acquaintenance....then....it hit me.... like a ton of bricks.

Toenails.

Yes, TOENAILS!!!

(puke, puke, puke)

And, when I tell you that there were seriously 3 years worth of toenail clippings in a 10-inch radius, I shit you not. Seriously, this guy must've went to the same corner of his room to clip his toenails every single freakin' time and then let them "hang out" on his floor without giving a single thought about cleaning them up.

Seriously... there were SO MANY toenails it was freakin' unbelievable.

Then, I had to vacuum them up (man, Jeremy owes me SO BIG it is not even funny) and it was all clickety-click-click-clickety-click in the vacuum cleaner as they got sucked up....

Absolutely flippin' disgusting. Yes, it is possible that one of our tenants has surpassed Jim & Bernice and taken us to a new low in our rental property adventures.

Or....perhaps maybe not... Jim & Bernice were pretty bad.

What a day!!!

Take a look at what is going on in my backyard today... there's 3 dogs out there, count 'em. But, there's only 11 legs between the 3 of them. Figure that one out! :-)

We have been charged with watching my in-laws' dog Buck for the weekend and when Buck is here, look out!! Within the first hour that he was here, he managed to use his sole front leg to dig a hole under the fence and escape our yard. Also within that first hour, 2 of the 3 dogs were covered in mud. Makes for a great start to a fun day. Once Buck was safely re-locked back in the yard, my dog Maverick (the big golden) thought it would be fun to terrorize Buck by chasing him around the yard trying to hump him (yes, my dog Maverick is a homo-dog). Then, Annie joins in the fun by chasing the two of them around the yard, barking at everything she sets her eyes on, and the games have officially begun. Then, I step out to take their picture, and they all manage to look sweet & innocent for a minute... and that's when I snapped this picture. "What? We're being SO good back here, mom. Go back inside." Ugh, the 3 of them... what a disaster!!!

I think one of the most trying things about being a mom is that you are always "on"... you are always in demand, and there is always someone needing your attention. From the second I wake up, which is never on my own and which is always according to JD's schedule, I am "on." Feed, play, diaper, nap, play, feed, diaper, feed, nap. And in between all that, squeeze my "job" at work and my "job" at home. It never ends.

Then, mixed into all this drama, I have a dog named Maverick... who LOVES me. He always wants to be RIGHT next to me, RIGHT in the way of where I'm about to step, RIGHT in between me & whatever I'm trying to grab, RIGHT outside of the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. It's mom mom mom mom mom mom mom all the time.

And, not that I don't love being a mom, not that I don't like being needed, and not that I don't love my dogs, but Good Lord, it can be is EXHAUSTING. Today is one of those days... 1 7 month old baby who is fuss, fuss, fuss today and 3 dogs that are bark, bark, bark today can really drive a girl nuts. Just needed to vent.

Losing my mind...

OK, so I realize I've been a blog slacker, but when I logged in to make another post today, I saw I officially have 2 followers!!! Wow, this is so exciting to me!!! Thanks girls!! :-) Hopefully you enjoy my rants.

So, recently I've come to the conclusion that I may be on the brink of losing my mind and losing my sanity... or maybe when I saw "on the brink" I really mean "have totally passed the point of." I don't know for sure, but I think it's close.

One thing that I've noticed about my life as Mommy is that I am constantly "narrating" my day. Whenever JD is in the room with me, I feel as if I need to be in constant contact or constant conversation with him. I don't really like it to be dull or quiet. So, I'm always saying "Time to change JD's diaper" or "Time for Mommy to wash the dishes, what do you think, JD?" or "Time for Mommy's bottle now" as I open my fridge for my bedtime white zin night cap.

Now, I don't really mind being in constant conversation with my son... and I do use the word "conversation" loosely as it is always one-sided although I may get an "Ahhhh!!!" or a dribble of drool in response. But, I think this is an outside sign of my thread of sanity that I am left clinging to.

I took JD with me to the grocery store the other day. This little man LOVES to shop - he loves all the colors and sounds... and well, let's face it. You've all seen his pictures- he is a CHUNK... he just loves the sight of food.

Well, all through the grocery store, I am just chatting along "Hmmm.... do you think Daddy would like it if Mommy bought some broccoli, or do you think he would like some potatoes instead?" (pause) "Broccoli?? Good choice, me too." "What do you think, should we buy 2% or skim milk?" "Mmmm...yummy.... look at those apples!! JD likes apples, don't you, JD?" You get my drift. The sad thing is that I was doing this kind of subconsciously... not really even realizing that I was speaking my "thoughts"... I guess I was in kind of an out-of-the-house-induced trance!

About halfway through the grocery store, I realized that I was doing this when I said, "Gosh, where do they keep the olives in this place? Do you know?" And one of my fellow shoppers actually answered me. "Oh, I think they're in aisle 2, honey!" Whoops.

So, there it is. I am now the crazy lady in the grocery store that talks to strangers. Like I said, I have lost my mind.

Mother's Day

Here we are, on the brink of my first official Mother's Day. I remember last Mother's Day... I went to church with my in-laws and when they asked all the mothers to stand, my mother in law insisted that I stand because I was preggo with my little peanut. I did get a flower at that service, too, so I guess I semi have celebrated Mother's Day before.

But, this mother's day is a HECK of a lot different. I was a pseudo mom before, but now I am a real-life, full-fledge one! So, I expect it to go a little differently. Just in case my husband is reading, I would like to add a list of things that I would like for Mother's Day:

- My husband to do laundry - ALL 27 loads that need to be done on the weekends after our family gets done with a week's worth of clothes. All of the clothes folded, put away & hung in a timely manner.

- My husband to make me dinner. Good dinner served on the dinner table, not on the T.V. trays and a nice bottle of wine with dinner. The wine that I like, not the wine that he likes.

- My husband to prepare all bottles & bowls of baby food for my son. Feeding him a meal or 2 would be a plus, but as a mommy, I don't mind giving those snuggly little bottles at the end of the day.

- My husband to wake up whenever my son wakes up and be the first line of contact for him in the morning, regardless of how early it is. I would like to sleep in - undisturbed - until at least 9 am. Wouldn't that be something????

- Oh yeah, and I don't really need a gift, just my little son is gift enough, but it would be nice to use my spa gift certificate that has been sitting around unused in my drawer since JD was 2 weeks old. Maybe somehow my husband can finangle that as well.

So, in short, I would like my husband to be me for a day... and in turn... I get to spend a day as him. That's the gift I want - spend a day as my husband. What a wonderful life he leads! So, I guess if you think about it, every day for him is "Father's Day." That for sure means I should be off the hook for him this year!!!! :-) I guess that's why I say a woman's work is never done... yet... oddly enough, a man's work never seems to begin!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMIES OUT THERE!!!!!