Signs of the Times...

I was running some errands the other day, and my path happened to take me on a drive right past my old townhouse. Man, did I love that little place!! It got me thinking about times past, times changing, and the future times ahead of me.

I would have to say that living in that townhouse were some of the best days of my life. I don't think I've ever felt more alive than when I lived there. Living there, I think, was one of the most feel-good, liberating, world-by-the-tail things that I've ever done for myself. I owned it by myself, for myself, and loved all of the freedom that choice gave me.

Not that I didn't love all of the times in my life that I had lived with roommates (and roommies, I love each & every one of you with all my heart), but living alone was absolutely wonderful I thought. I could stay up as late as I wanted with all the lights and music on. I could come home on dark, rainy nights, pour myself a glass of wine and enjoy the quiet. I could vacuum my house at 11pm if I wanted to. I could wake up and turn on my radio without fear of waking anyone else up. I cleaned up after only myself. I had no one to tell where I was going & when I'd be back - no one to answer to when I stayed out too late or overslept by hours the next morning. My closet was ALL MINE, and my fridge was filled with only my favorites. My Tivo was set to only girly shows, and I could watch them at my discretion. Gosh, thinking back about that makes me wonder why I gave all that up.... :-)

Anyway, I know I wrote a blog the other day about how far women have come in the workplace but yet still wondering where it left us in the social place, and I've been thinking since then a lot about chivalry.

Chivalry. Now there is a word that is not used enough in our society!! I know some of you reading this may have the most wonderful husbands who open the door for you, plan romantic dates for you, schedule babysitters for your mom nights & hand over the credit card for your shopping sprees with a smile. If this situation is yours, then please, quit reading now!

I heard someone talking about chivalry a few days ago about how chivalry is not dead... it's just not required anymore. And that got me to thinking.... which eventually led to me writing! :-) I think chivalry not being required is not necessarily a bi-product of lazy men (although,let's face it ladies, a lot of men do fit that description!), I think that it might just be a bi-product of women who are competent and are very good at "doing it yourself."

One thing that I never thought that I wanted during my single girl days was to be taken care of. What did I need to be taken care of for? I was very capable of doing it all myself - I was living in my own little world with the world by the tail and did a fine job of keeping the boat a'rowing. I wanted someone who saw me as an equal, not as a dependent... someone who could rely on me just as much as I relied on him. I don't really think I'm alone in feeling that way... am I????

Now, as a mom who is stretched thin to say the least, I am left wondering why in the world I ever thought that!! :-) I am wishing I could re-turn the wheels and re-"train" my husband to think that I am not very good at all about doing it myself.

I mean, if I were a guy and knew that my wife could run out in the rain for groceries, then why would I do it for her? Would I open her car door for her when we went out together knowing that every day she does it for herself when she heads out to work? Would I plan a date for her knowing that she's always better at knowing what food she's in the mood for, and would I compliment her when I know that her facebook friends complement her pictures enough for weeks on end? Would I plan a special Mother's Day gift for her when I know that she always buys what she wants anyway? Would I take the car for an oil change when I know that she is very capable of driving to Valvoline on her own?

I could go on & on... really. I could.

As a mother of a son, how can I make sure that he will one day answer all of these questions with a yes, and as a wife of a husband who sometimes...err..."lacks" in the chivalry department, how can I get him to understand that yes, I can do it myself, but no, I don't always want to have to....