I realized yesterday... I am a mom.

Now, I have been a mom for 14 months today, so you would think that I would have "realized" this before. I think I realized that I was definitely a mother after that first night bringing JD home when I was wondering when in the world would I ever have the chance to get another wink of sleep again, but for some reason, it hit me - I am totally a "mom."

I am no longer just Amy, a fun gal who likes to drink white zin, scour the mall for sales and spend her weekends sleeping in & going out to dinner with her hubby. I am now Mommy Amy... who never has time to drink white zin, rarely can ever make it to the mall, and now defines "sleeping in" as staying in bed until 7:30. Quiet dinners with my husband are also a thing of the past as if we bring JD, it is sure to be not at all quiet, and if we can actually persuade a babysitter to come to our house, 99% of the time, we are going to some type of event - not just a leisurely evening on the town.

My life. My, how it has changed.

What brought me to this realization is last night - I met someone new - now this person is not on my FB and has no knowledge of this blog, so I can feel free to type away! :-) She actually just got engaged to Jeremy's sort-of cousin and lives smack dab in New York City.

Anyway, the two of them came over to say hi while they were in town, and as Jeremy jabbered away to his cousin, I was making conversation with his new fiance. Great! Adult Conversation!!! One of my favorite things!!!

And, wouldn't you know it, the only thing that seemed to be consistently coming out of my mouth was baby. Blah blah Baby. Blah blah JD. Yada yada mom stuff. Yada yada parenting.

OMG, I was even annoyed at myself!!! It seemed that I could not hold a conversation without some way, shape or form relating whatever it was to JD. I think something just chemically happens to you when you are a mom that the #1 most exciting thing to you is talking about your child. I love JD so much & think that he is just the world's greatest little man. In my eyes, everything that he does is hysterical or adorably cute (yes, this is a mother's love talking). I just can't get enough of him.

Most days, I spend a lot of time talking about him... and last night I realized... I am "that mom" - you know the one... all of those single gals dread her because she seemingly can only talk about her children. So, to my non-mommy friends, let me apologize in advance. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I do realize that when I open my mouth to talk about something other than JD, that it doesn't always work out that way... and I'm working on fixing it.

Please be patient, though, because gosh, that little JD is just so darn cute. I mean, did I tell you what he just did today?????..... :-)

Annoyances.

Sometimes, I happen to run across certain situations that just really manage to rub me the wrong way. Out of all of the situations that rub me the wrong way, it is very rare that I can really let loose & blog about one. Being that my blog is a public site, I am never quite sure who reads it, so I never want to offend someone who is unknowingly reading my blog and yada yada yada...

Anywho, one thing that REALLY annoys me is people who have blogs that really shouldn't have them. Now, I know there is at least one person out there who is thinking, "Wow, Amy, you have just really managed to describe yourself." Well, let me clarify that it's professional people who get paid to blog who have really sucky blogs that annoy me.

Allow me to exemplify my concerns:

(1) There is a blog on kmov.com called "The Mommy Diaries" that is written by one of their newscasters or employees or someone who is detailing her trials & tribulations as life as a mom. And, on top of that, she has a son who is just a few weeks older than JD, so she basically should be living my life. SO, one would think that I would have a tremendous interest in this blog.

However, this blog is quite possibly one of the worst blogs I have ever read in my entire life. Go check it out for your life. Seriously. I am not lying. Her son just turned a year old and she had a little blog about planning his first birthday bash. Now, I'm not one to pat myself on the back, but come on now. There are a TON of stories I could tell about planning JD's Spooktacular Boo-day Bash... from trying to get the invitations done, to "making" (and when I say making I really mean eating) numerous icing coated sugar cookies to my extended family's "help" with the bash (and when I say help I mean...well...ok.... that's one of those ix-nayed blog topics). But, anywho, you get my drift. There is a ton of material on planning a first birthday bash. It is a mommy's dream.

But ol girl Mommy Diaries blog is like, "Oh wow, Jude is one. Planning his party has been so much fun. We had a joint bash with a friend of mine's son who is also one. Here is a picture." (end of entry)

Wow, thank you Mommy Diaries for wasting my time...and the news stations money while you're at it. That blog is horrible, and thank God it was so short that it was only less than 5 minutes of my life that I will never get back.

(2) So... this was a blog that was a "featured story" on one of the other local news sites - ksdk.com. One of the news anchors on there decided to live her life as if she were on food stamps - limiting herself to $28/week to spend on food. (That number may be off because I really don't think that a single person spending $28/week on food would be a HUGE stretch. Maybe I am wrong?)

Anyway, this blog was also very awful. For this week-long extravaganza, ol girl managed to enter 3 blog entries I think. The first was talking about how "Wow, good thing I can get my friends to buy me lunch & dinner. Since I didn't pay, I don't have to include that in my budget and the best part of all is that then I have leftovers!"

Um, girl. I'm kind of thinking that you're missing the point of your assignment here. I mean, hello. I highly doubt that all of the people on food stamps have friends who are willing to buy them multiple meals a day so that their budget stretches a little further.

Then, a couple days later, ol girl writes an entry about going grocery shopping. Said blog was about 3 paragraphs long and all the paragraphs sucks. Apparently she bought lots of peanut butter. And a few other things but I don't remember because the blog was so awful I have blocked it out of my memory.

OH, I lie. She also went to Soulard Farmer's Market. Bought tons of veggies for $6. Does the Farmer's market take food stamps in reality? Just asking.

Anyway, it was a very non-descript entry and overall really sucked. She again had some other news anchor buying her $5/morning coffee habit for her because she apparently was crabby without it. Again, missing the point, I think.

Then, she ties it all together with a high-power, grab-your-attention, 5 sentence blog about how "Whoa, relax everyone. This was just meant to bring awareness to the food stamp situation. blahdee freakin' blah."

Anyway, I ramble. My point is that both of these blogs are awful, and both of these people are paid to blog. Where is the justice in society?????

Signs of the Times...

I was running some errands the other day, and my path happened to take me on a drive right past my old townhouse. Man, did I love that little place!! It got me thinking about times past, times changing, and the future times ahead of me.

I would have to say that living in that townhouse were some of the best days of my life. I don't think I've ever felt more alive than when I lived there. Living there, I think, was one of the most feel-good, liberating, world-by-the-tail things that I've ever done for myself. I owned it by myself, for myself, and loved all of the freedom that choice gave me.

Not that I didn't love all of the times in my life that I had lived with roommates (and roommies, I love each & every one of you with all my heart), but living alone was absolutely wonderful I thought. I could stay up as late as I wanted with all the lights and music on. I could come home on dark, rainy nights, pour myself a glass of wine and enjoy the quiet. I could vacuum my house at 11pm if I wanted to. I could wake up and turn on my radio without fear of waking anyone else up. I cleaned up after only myself. I had no one to tell where I was going & when I'd be back - no one to answer to when I stayed out too late or overslept by hours the next morning. My closet was ALL MINE, and my fridge was filled with only my favorites. My Tivo was set to only girly shows, and I could watch them at my discretion. Gosh, thinking back about that makes me wonder why I gave all that up.... :-)

Anyway, I know I wrote a blog the other day about how far women have come in the workplace but yet still wondering where it left us in the social place, and I've been thinking since then a lot about chivalry.

Chivalry. Now there is a word that is not used enough in our society!! I know some of you reading this may have the most wonderful husbands who open the door for you, plan romantic dates for you, schedule babysitters for your mom nights & hand over the credit card for your shopping sprees with a smile. If this situation is yours, then please, quit reading now!

I heard someone talking about chivalry a few days ago about how chivalry is not dead... it's just not required anymore. And that got me to thinking.... which eventually led to me writing! :-) I think chivalry not being required is not necessarily a bi-product of lazy men (although,let's face it ladies, a lot of men do fit that description!), I think that it might just be a bi-product of women who are competent and are very good at "doing it yourself."

One thing that I never thought that I wanted during my single girl days was to be taken care of. What did I need to be taken care of for? I was very capable of doing it all myself - I was living in my own little world with the world by the tail and did a fine job of keeping the boat a'rowing. I wanted someone who saw me as an equal, not as a dependent... someone who could rely on me just as much as I relied on him. I don't really think I'm alone in feeling that way... am I????

Now, as a mom who is stretched thin to say the least, I am left wondering why in the world I ever thought that!! :-) I am wishing I could re-turn the wheels and re-"train" my husband to think that I am not very good at all about doing it myself.

I mean, if I were a guy and knew that my wife could run out in the rain for groceries, then why would I do it for her? Would I open her car door for her when we went out together knowing that every day she does it for herself when she heads out to work? Would I plan a date for her knowing that she's always better at knowing what food she's in the mood for, and would I compliment her when I know that her facebook friends complement her pictures enough for weeks on end? Would I plan a special Mother's Day gift for her when I know that she always buys what she wants anyway? Would I take the car for an oil change when I know that she is very capable of driving to Valvoline on her own?

I could go on & on... really. I could.

As a mother of a son, how can I make sure that he will one day answer all of these questions with a yes, and as a wife of a husband who sometimes...err..."lacks" in the chivalry department, how can I get him to understand that yes, I can do it myself, but no, I don't always want to have to....

May the best hand win...

Sometimes I feel that parenting... and post-child marriage, I guess... is sort of like a poker game. You have to try to keep your cool and somehow manage to bluff your way into a winning game. It's give & take, always wondering what trick the other is going to pull out of their sleeve next.

Somehow, in my personal marriage game of hold 'em, my husband always seems to have the easy cards... he always manages to pull of that straight flush that gets him out of bedtime duty, bath duty, dinner duty, or early morning duty. I'm not quite sure how he works it, but time & time again, I am out-smarted into giving him the night off while I do it all.

Now, sure sometimes he does his "Man-work" days where he is out in the yard working or out in the garage tinkering around. During the "man days", it is strict instruction for me that he is doing his man labor, so by default, I am doing mommy labor all day.

Yes, he is working around the house, and I do realize that I need to keep my eye on the big picture here, but during these Man Days, I keep JD out of his hair so that he can catch up on his Honey Do list around the house. My, how great would that be if someone kept JD occupied all day long so I could do MY Honey-Do list, too. Mine seems to be growing in length as each day ticks by (and grows closer to JD's first birthday bash), but no one seems to be concerned with giving me some un-interrupted time to get things done. As a mom, I just need to multi-task and work it into my day. However, as a dad, he needs to escape from his son for hours of uninterrupted labor. How exactly did that happen??

Today is one of those Man Days... it sort of happened by accident that Jeremy pulled his ace out of the hole but he is crossing things off his list and I am inside with JD. Shortly after lunch, Jeremy comes in and asks, "Is there anything you need to get done today?"

Stunned at this question, I could rattle off a million things - 10 loads of laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, dishes, laundry shopping & a trip to Wal-Mart, but instead I reply, "Um, a shower would be nice."

"You want to shower today???" My husband questions me as if I just asked for a $500 afternoon shopping spree.

"Yes, a shower." And, with that, I was off to the bathroom - one of those very nice closed-door type of showers that mothers get to experience very infrequently. However, tick, tick tick... can't dawdle too long, before I was back on duty for pre-naptime routine, and the Man Work resumes.

I start to get mad, but then I realize that my husband just does not get it, and it's not his fault. He has never tried to carry an overloaded laundry basket upstairs with an 11 month old child who "thinks" he knows how to climb the stairs. Or tried to unload the dishwasher with an 11 month old child who makes a bee line right for the sharpest knife in the dishwasher faster than mommy can grab it. Or tried to unload groceries with an 11 month old child who screams after every time the refrigerator door slams in his face, mad that he was not quick enough to get to play in the fridge today.

It is hard. I love it, but it is hard, and some appreciation would be nice. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that my husband is working around the house. But in this marriage world of give & take, it would be nice if I had a Woman Work day , too.

When the sun goes down...

There is just something about going out of the house after dark that is just plain ol' exciting. Maybe the fact that I think this should be my clue to myself that I need some real excitement in my life, but with it getting dark so gosh darn early, I feel myself getting "excited" when I hop in my car after dark.... only to end up at Walmart or the grocery store.

I guess it's still a lingering train of thought from my single girl days... the days, or should I say nights, when anyone who was anyone didn't leave their house to start their night until at least 10pm. I'd spend all day lounging, all evening resting up, and all night out on the town living it up. Those were the glory days, I suppose. Now, this mom is lucky to still be awake at 10pm, but for some reason when I'm outside in the dark, I just get this tinge of something I can't explain.

I don't know what it is about the dark... it brings on that air of excitement and an element of mystery that makes me feel like I am about to do something really fun & special. Then, I realize that I have just arrived in the Dierberg's parking lot to run in for some milk, apple juice & a thing of butter... then turn around, hop back in my car & hurry to get in my comfy pajamas before I miss Glee or The Office.

Hello, old lady life, I have arrived.

Sports and license plates

The other day I was driving and of course you all know that I LOVE license plates... Anyway, I was stopped at a red light behind a little black sedan with a plate that said NXT YER 1 with a Cubs plate hold around it. Although I'm not a baseball fan myself, I had to stop and laugh at this one. That's pretty clever, if I do say so myself. Although, nowadays, I'm thinking of adopting that same plate, only with an Illinois football ring around it instead...

But anyway, that brings me to another point... baseball. I know this is an unpopular viewpoint, but I would like to go out on a limb and say THANK GOD the hunt for Red October is over. I know, I know, boo, hiss, boo hiss. What a bad St. Louis-an I am.

I must admit that I was captivated by the final game in the 847 game season of our redbirds. I guess it was due to the fact that something was actually on the line - it was the make or break point for the Cards - do or die.

I think that is the problem with baseball. There are SO MANY games that it is total overload - and who really cares if they lose to the Cubs the first 27 times they play them this year, I mean, we will play them again another 27 times before the season is up.

I know... unpopular viewpoint, but I am GLAD Red October is over - baseball is cozily behind us and now we can focus on the important things in life - football and Halloween. :-)

Anyway, as a sidenote, I saw another plate this morning "DR JJP DC." Now, does anyone besides me see a problem with this license plate??? Isn't this a little redundant??

This is one of the things that I find most annoying, and I don't know why. OK, Guy. We get it. You are a doctor. A doctor of chiropractic to be exact... yes siree, I do understand initials, however, I just don't quite understand why this particular Dr. DC feels it's a must to tell the little car behind him at a red light that YES, he is a doctor.... and why yes, he must tell me this twice within a matter of 7 characters.

Annoying.

Anyway, I'm sure that I've seen other interesting plates, however, my memory is continuing to fade as visions of pumpkins & birthday parties dance in my head. :-) Hope you all are enjoying this start to fall as much as I am!!

Oprah update

Um...so.... I think I am on the verge of un-tivo-ing Oprah. I am so over this whole Oprah show thing, it's not even funny.

(OK, OK, so in all fairness, I would drop everything and leave in 5 minutes flat if I was given the opportunity, but that's my story & I'm sticking to it.)

So... late last night I get this email:

AKearns@harpo.com to me

show details 9:37 PM (22 hours ago)

Hi Amy!

I'm so sorry it's so late -- I have a very last minute question for you if
you're available?

If you're around tonight, please call!

:)




And then, at 9:37pm, my friend Oprah producer Allyson emails me her phone number. :-) Aaaaaaaaaa (that's my impression of the sound of angels when the heavens open up.)

So, stupid stupid stupid me has managed to drop the ball once again. Yes, I was awake at 9:37pm last night, but do you think I checked my email??? No, why would one check her email while she was anxiously awaiting an email from the Oprah show??? That would make WAY too much sense.

Anywho, so I get this above email first thing this morning and at 7am sharp, I call ol' girl and leave here a friendly, fun, upbeat voicemail message.

And... do you think I get so much as an email back??? Ol girl can email me at 9:37 asking me to drop everything and call that night, but when I call her back, do I get so much as a flippin' pinky wave as a response?? No.

Ugh, it's getting annoying, this living on the edge of my seat waiting for "the call." Come on, O, I thought you'd do better than leaving a girl hanging like this!!!

Anyway, I previously thought this show was taping tomorrow due to some intense oprah.com research, but I think I was wrong... so... maybe I do have more time....

more time to sit....and wait.

I'll keep you posted!!!

OPRAH!!!!

Some of you may know this already, but I am on the brink of one of the most exciting things that have ever happened to me in my entire life. No, I'm not moving, I'm not pregnant again, and I certainly have not won the lottery.

However, I have recently made contact with Oprah's staff, and I am flippin' out excited about it!!

"How did this all start?" you may be thinking to yourself. Well. One of my mom's friends got to go on the Oprah show a few months ago and sit in the first few rows of the audience because she had written in on oprah.com about an upcoming show topic. The producers emailed her, a love was formed, and before you knew it, she was headed to beautiful Chicago, Illinois to a taping at Harpo studios.

So, taking a page from her book, I decided to do the same thing. I wrote in on a show topic about post-baby marriages and keeping the love alive in your marriage, and a few days later, I get an email in my gmail asking me for my picture if I was interested in appearing on the show in the first few rows of the audience.

A skeptic at heart, I tried to contain my excitement as I searched for a picture that looked like something Queen O herself would like to have in her audience. I ended up picking a picture of me from a wedding we went to a couple months ago where I was wearing a bright colored dress, reasoning that the produers could infer from wearing bright colors, that I also had a bright personality. A stretch for logic but my mind was spinning in all directions.

I sent that in on a Thursday and for the remainder of the day and the next day, I checked my email like a madwoman, but no response. A girl on the verge of O can only be so patient!!!

Saturday rolls around and I was busy, busy, busy with my little monkey man, and for some reason, I thought to myself that Oprah's producers don't work weekends, so I checked my gmail at approximately 11:40am, and then I did not recheck again until about 7:30pm.

Man, oh man, did I drop the ball on that one! Oprah's producer Allyson emailed me at 11:42am (gasp!) asking if there was a time that day (Saturday) that I would be available to talk to her on the phone.

Crap, crap, double crap. Here I am, 7:30pm, just getting this email and feeling like a total loser... like some high school athlete who missed what could've been the winning shot with the final seconds ticking off the clock. I hurriedly shot off an email to her that OF COURSE I would be available to talk to her any time at all (heck, even 3am if that's what I needed to do), and to please, please call because I would LOVE to go to the show.

So...Sunday ticks by with about 137,584 log-ins to my gmail.... nothing.

Monday comes and goes without so much as a reply to my email.

I am hopeful for Tueday, but if today ends without a reply, I am feeling that I did indeed miss the boat. As much as I am kicking myself for not checking my email with ocd-intensity, it will be OK for the following reasons:

(a) as most of you moms know anyway, it would be really hard to just up & leave in a moment's notice and expect Jeremy to do what I do (I don't know why this is so hard, but it's just one of those things that is difficult as a mom)

(b) as soon as Jeremy learned that I would have to mention him in my questions at the show, he became not so fond of my going (which, I would go anyway, tough cookies for him, but it could cause post-oprah-show tension in theory)

(c) In a most surprising move, my mom is at the lake and said she wouldn't come home to go to the show with me (what?!?!?!?) and my sister's husband is out of town, so it is unlikely that she could go to the show with me (?!?!??!?!?!?!), and those are by far, the two biggest Oprah lovers that I know, and it would be hard to find someone else who could drop everything to go, and plus, it wouldn't feel right if I couldn't take one of them. They just may hate me forever.

So, like I said I am still hopeful. I still think it could happen. And boy, oh boy would I be doing cartwheels around my living room if it did. But for right now, I am trying to keep my cool and wish my way onto Oprah's show. :-)

When do you know???

My little boy is 11 months old day. 11. Months. Old. Wow.

Lately I have found myself watching his adorable little baby self crawl around my floors and cruise around my cabinets and just sitting, wondering, thinking... "How in the world did my baby get so gosh darn big???"

It seems like the months have flown by, and it seems like just yesterday that I was holding my little newborn bundle in my arms thinking, hoping & wishing that I could maintain my sanity for just a few more months... and once I made it to that point - the point that all new moms wish for... the point where you can put your little one down and they will actually sleep the whole night through. If I could do THAT, then I would be OK.

Well, here I am. I have made it. My little man keeps his midnight calls to a minimum and as of late, his 5am wake-up cries have been waning as well. This is the sweet spot, where I am getting to know my son as a little person, not just as a baby that needs to be cared for, but actually as a little guy with his own personality... someone that adds so much delight to my day.

So, why in the world am I thinking that I want another baby??? Now, logistically speaking, I don't think this can happen now. I firmly believe that we should sell our home before having another child, but still.... that doesn't help me when I see these adorably cute little teensy tiny babies all over the place.

So, how do you know exactly? How do you know for sure?? Well, I guess Baby #1 I didn't exactly know for sure prior to his conception, and that has worked out OK, but still. I have heard that the jump from 1 to 2 is a big one. So... when to say when, I guess that is the question.

I'm not going to lie... I do enjoy this sweet spot right now, and I don't think I'm ready to be preggo tomorrow. I am enjoying being a normal sized mom, not a preggo-sized one. I enjoy being able to drink, and I especially enjoy knowing that no where in my near future is a crying baby who wants to see me frequently during the wee early morning hours.

Anyway, like I said, logistically, I know that now is not the time. Sanity wise, I don't think that now is the time. However, I guess I'm wondering, fellow bloggers, how did you decide and were you ready?

Need to vent...

Just this past weekend, I had the opportunity to go see my good friend Jill and her precious little newly born baby girl. OMG, I *loved* her, and it really made me want to start to have another one... but then I quickly snapped back to my senses as Jill started to talk about their first 2 nights at home. I thought back to my first few weeks at home and aside from all the blissful love that you feel for your little one, the other part of being at home with a newborn is nothing short of pure misery.

Thinking & reflecting back to how I have survived almost a whole YEAR with my little man got me to thinking about the demands on our generation's wonder woman. I have always been very pro-women's right and women's lib and all of that, but I really started to wonder where that all has gotten us.

Yes, women are more integral in the workplace environment, and yes, an increasing number of women no longer see a glass ceiling. We women can fulfill our dreams, not matter what the goal. There are no limits to our talents... but also there are no limits to our demands.

However, I think a very underestimated bi-product of this era is the realization that in order to be successful in today's world, you must be a true wonder woman.

I recently told my husband that I pretty much feel like I suck at all parts of my life. I am not at work enough to be really good at my job, yet I am not at home enough to be really effective at home either. When I am at home, I want to focus on being a mom, however, part of being a 'mom' is being a homemaker... and I don't have enough energy in my day to focus there.

I don't have enough leisure time to classify myself as a 'good friend', yet my friends are a dangling lifeline to my prior life filled with fun & sanity. I get one night to myself a week and have to pick between exercising or escaping with a friend. And, when I do get that night to myself, the one thing that I truly want is just quiet.

My day starts with a crying baby, endures through a nagging workday, relishes in those 2 hours each day post-work that I get to spend with my son while he is actually awake, and then abruptly ends when I fall asleep on the couch by 8:30. I don't know where the 'me' is in my life... but I feel confident that I will re-discover that aspect someday, as I try to grow more efficient in my quest to be everything to everyone.

By doing everything, I really feel like I'm doing nothing. Throughout my life, I have been a 100% person, trying to put full effort into whatever I do, however, by trying to throw being a mom into the balancing act, the time & effort required by such a large task (and I do LOVE being a mom) will totally negate all time previously plotted for me, my friends & my house and will wear deeply on the amount of time & energy I have available for a workday. Trying to squeeze all of these back in the juggling routine has ended with me flat on my ass surrounded by a bunch of bouncing balls.

I don't know... it seems that working moms and non-working moms sort of fall into an "us vs. them" mentality. Us working moms think about how nice it would be to be able to be at home and FINALLY have the time to get everything done that has been neglected for months (as if staying at home is some sort of vacation, which believe me, I know is not the case)... and I know a good amount of stay-at-home moms who are jealous that we working moms get to have adult conversation every day and also have the opportunity to make a quick run to Target sans kiddos on our lunch break.

I guess each generation has their issues. Each woman has her own struggles. I know this woman does.

Thinking back about 'progress' makes me just wonder what we have done to ourselves... now our place is not in the home, but it's still not at work. We're expected to be a main income contributor, but be the main home provider as well. We are the manager of our home, and turn around to be the manager of our work. And no matter what the demand, I know in my life, it seems like the only person I can ever make happy is my son... and that's probably only because he doesn't have a clue about what's going on, lol! :-)

Today's woman has just squeezed in another main course into her meal.... and when you eat that much, there's usually no time for dessert. I don't know... I just needed to vent. Sometimes I feel that there is so much going on in my life, that I actually start to become invisible and the only thing that matters is the fruit of my labor... it can be really frustrating, and I hope all of my faithful little blog followers don't feel the same...

*HUGS* Amy

10 years already?!?!?

This weekend is my 10 year high school reunion, and although I can't really believe that it's been 10 WHOLE YEARS, I guess I really can believe it because high school seems LIGHT YEARS away. I mean, I can 'remember' high school of course, but really it all kind of just seems like a blur - with just little snippets of the highlights sticking out. I don't really remember day-to-day high school life, and that makes me kind of sad, but I guess I will get my chance to re-live it for a night this weekend! :-)

What DOESN'T seem like 10 years ago is the start of my college career at U of I... moving into the dorms and meeting all the girls, including one of my best friends Michelle... sauntering over to the guys' side and meeting all of them as well. Where would my life be without Chris & Ed??? :-) It blows my mind that that has also been 10 years ago. I mean, wow!

Anyway, I could type and type recalling my memories of days gone by, but I think I'll focus this blog in a little bit about the actual reunion itself. Initially speaking, I was of course going to go to the reunion... I mean, why wouldn't I? But upon further thinking, I realized (a) I can hang out with my current-life high school friends for free without spending 70 bucks to do so and (b) I already keep in contact with my true friends from high school (well the majority of them at least!).... and for all of the others, I have lovely facebook to give me up-to-the-minute-updates with what they are doing with their lives now, so.... it kind of takes the allure away of wondering who is married, who has kids, who gained weight, who has totally changed, etc. etc.

I guess when it comes right down to it, I think people as a whole either go to their reunions to (a) see or (b) be seen... and I guess I'd have to say the former appeals to me a little more right now, so I have coughed up my money, signed Jeremy and I both up for a night of fun, and will be partying like it's 1999 this weekend. I think when it comes right down to it, I am curious to see how people look, yes, but I am really curious to meet my high school classmates as adults now, instead of little teeny boppers, and see how the dynamic with our class has changed as a whole.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have some stories afterward, but for now, I'll just stick with my own story - and that story is that I am looking forward to the reunion this weekend!!!

Wally World

Growing up, I remember Wal-Mart was like my favorite store.... strange fact, but true, but we are talking middle school here people! Maybe because I had no real other options or maybe it was just a function of where I grew up, but I never quite thought of Wal-Mart as the place where ghetto, white trash people shop.

I guess maybe I learned that in college. I took a brief hiatus from my WM days starting senior year of high school, and then throughout college I shopped at Meijer (love, Love, LOVE that place!), and then for some reason after all those years without it, I decided to look up my ol' love Wally World and give it another try.

Now, I know. Normal people shop at Target. Crazy ghetto white trash people shop at Wal Mart. It's just like some sort of unspoken rule.

However, in my recent quest for saving money, I have compared prices between Target & Wal Mart and man, oh man, I found some big differences! Hence, I decided to suck it up and make WM my staple store.

(As a sidenote, I guess that means that by default, I am now ghetto white trash, lol. Oh well!)

Anyway, somehow I managed to find myself at Wal Mart 2 days this weekend - 2 days in a row!! And each day I saw some very bizarre happenings...

(1) Friday as I was walking into Wal-Mart, there was some random girl like sitting on the curb right outside the store talking on her cell phone obviously VERY upset and obviously crying. It was pretty strange... this girl was very WT and somehow she thought that it would be a good idea to spill her life's sorrows on the curb there at Wal Mart.

I made a brief trip around the store (obviously a little too brief as I had to go back again today), and on my way out, the cops had apparently been called and were trying to calm this girl, who was growing more & more agitated as each minute ticked by. I did not slow my step to watch this trainwreck taking place (as many, many others did), but from where I overheard I guess this girl was upset because some guy was no longer letting her live with him????

I really don't know, but I highly doubt that the front step of wal mart is the place to air your grievances.

(2) So, today, I re-pull up into my friendly neighborhood WM parking lot and park 2 spaces away from some old man who was just sitting there, chilling in his pick up truck smoking a cigarette. I initially glanced at him, thinking it was strange, but didn't think that much of it, and grabbed JD from the back seat to enter the store.

Another brief trip around the store, and I return to my car only to find ol' boy still sitting there just chillin' in the parking lot as if it were some sort of hot spot. At this point, I started to get creeped out, especially since his truck was behind me as I was buckling JD in. But, at this point, ol' boy decides the he actually needs to bump the tunes a little louder. He was playing old folk music SUPER loud, just hanging out in his truck with the door open, just a'puffin' away. Very strange indeed.

But, I am glad to say that he did not sneak up behind me and try to steal my purse or something.


Anyway, the moral of the story is that I am wondering if the 5 or 10 bucks I save each trip is really worth exposing JD to the lunacy that is Wal-Mart. I mean, really. I will have to think long & hard before my next trip for sure.

I'm back!!!

Hey all of my faithful blog followers, I'm back! I have been super busy and the things that have been going on in my life haven't been things that I feel like blogging, but alas, I have stumbled upon something that has gotten my goat and I feel like flappin' my lips about it.

The Presidential School Speech

I am SURE you have heard about this. If not, hop on ksdk.com or cnn.com and you can read all about the "uproar" that has been created from President Obama planning to address our nation's children in an upcoming 'pep talk' of sorts.

OF COURSE, everyone is all CRAZY about this... saying that they are 'scared' of what he will say and that he will use this platform to create a 'cult' that will encourage his 'socialist' ideas.

Oh. Puh-leeze!!!!!

This is the PRESIDENT of our country. The same man who the majority of American voters decided to vote into office to guide our country over the next 4 years... one of the most influential people in our country and certainly in a prestigious position that a good number of children aspire to reach.

Who better to encourage them to work hard and stay in school than the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I mean, honestly!!!! It is just absurd to think that there are people out there who honestly believe that he is crafting this speech for the purposes of political propoganda.

He is NOT the first President to address our nation's children. This is not a new trend of 'liberal propoganda.' The last address to our nation's schools was actually by George Sr. in 1991... but... oh right... THAT was OK.

I just find it seriously annoying that people are so hyped up being anti-Obama that they oppose to anything within a 10 mile radius of his reach... not EVERYTHING that he does has to be so awful.

Allow the man to encourage your children. Kids are kids. I honestly hope that the majority of middle-schoolers and younger do not have a clue about what is going on in this nation's political realm and they do not know that Obama is 'some crazy radical liberal.' The only know this. He is their country's PRESIDENT. And, no matter what your beliefs, that is a position of respect, of honor, and of integrity, and it would be nice if people would put politics aside, and muster up enough respect for the President of their country to allow him to nationally address our school children without such political backlash.

Alright, soapbox over. Good night!!!

Hmph.

I could write a very good blog right now, but sometimes I feel it may be better to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes things get under a girl's skin, and today is one of those days, but I am going to roll with the punches instead of venting. Hope everyone has a good day!!!

A quick vent!

Sometimes I wonder to myself why I am so stressed out, but then I remember all of the jobs that I fill:

- a loving wife to my husband
- a loving mother to my son
- a diligent employee to my boss
- an easy-going co-worker to my colleagues
- a not-too-demanding boss to my assistant
- an on-time parent to my babysitter
- a cool, calm, collected taxi cab to my son
- a feeding hand to my dogs
- a phone call to my sister
- an available dinner date to my friends
- a dutiful daughter to my parents
- a happily married woman to my in-laws
- an appointment scheduler to the whole family
- a financial wizard to my checkbook
- a filing queen to all my bills
- a maid to my home
- a never-fast-enough-finisher to all my laundry
- a rare walk to my dogs
- a happy playmate to my son
- a fun babysitter to my niece & nephew
- a concerned ear to my friends
- an evening snuggle mate to my husband
- an energetic participant in my work-out routine
- a healthy eater to my body
- a master chef to my family
- a Mommy & me Friday Funday to my son
- a recently re-invented property manager to my tenants
- a kept home to my neighbors
- a loving, encouraging, available listener to my husband & son
- an incredible balancing act for my family

And the list goes on & on & on & on & on & on.... Why in today's world is the mother expected to be 50% of the income, but 95% of the home life and still expected to keep her life de-stressed and keep her sanity in check?

After writing all of these, I realize why I am so stressed 90% of the time. But, this is my life, and of course, I wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

My favorite Month - July!!!

This past weekend, we kicked my friend July off to a fantastic start! We spent the weekend down at Table Rock Lake, and had a REALLY REALLY good time. The weather cooperated with us for the most part, and we were able to get in a lot of water time, so that is always a good thing.

However, I would like to say this about Table Rock Lake for all those who are so inclined to visit throughout the remainder of the summer.... this year, something very strange and very disturbing happened. The fish bit us!!!! Multiple times!!!!!! Now, coming from a girl who has visited this lake at least once every summer throughout her natural lifetime, I can say with 100% certainty that this was completely unexpected and completely bizarre. I mean, seriously, here you were just a floating along in the water and the next thing you know, peck, peck, peck!!!

I mean, Jeremy's got me so hopped up on River Monsters & other miscellaneous "dangers of the deep" shows that I was completely & utterly terrified. Not that the nibbles hurt so much, it was more just the thought that at that very moment, some unidentified lake creature was trying to make you it's next meal.... you had no idea if it was a blue gill the size of your hand or a giant, man-eating catfish the size of your body. Creepy!!

So, I thought I'd issue this little PSA to beware. This happened every day that we were down there, multiple times a day, to multiple people. Completely nuts.


Also, on a sidenote, JD had his first day at his new sitter this past Thursday and although it was nervewracking as all get out, he did GREAT. He didn't cry, he actually took a nap at the sitter's house, and he came home with a little note that listed out the times his diaper was changed, what he did that day, when he ate & a funny little story about him laughing at something that was totally a JD story, so I know she didn't pull it out of thin air. So, hopefully this good trend continues.

On another sidenote, one of my 2 college sitters has not called me back after a week & a half since my last message to her. WTF is up with that? She had babysat for us 3 times, and every single time JD was almost in bed when she came over, if he wasn't asleep already. We basically paid her $8/hr to sit around and surf the net. I am very befuddled as to why she would not return my phone call. Initial thoughts were vacation?, cell phone outage?, in the hospital? but now have turned to the bitter truth... I guess she doesn't want to babysit for us anymore. :( Sad!!

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekends! Back to the grind this week!! :-)

On the road again...

I spend an absolutely insane amount of time in the car each day. Between driving to & from work, driving to & from my sitter's and driving to & from my work appointments, I have a great deal of windshield time each day. I may not be a "car" person but I am a real "license plate" person, and I've seen some really great & really awful ones as of late. For those of you who are stuck behind a desk, or better yet, stuck at home with your kiddos, allow yourself to live vicariously through me.

One of my favorites - WINE ME 3. This is a kind of license plate that I might get for myself. I am not an alcohol afficienado, but I do like my wine! Anyone who wines me is A-OK in my book!

My least favorite - IM FIT 3. I mean, honestly. So, you have declared yourself to be "fit", but do we really need to advertise that for all to see on your license plates?? Wouldn't everyone else already notice that as soon as you stepped out of your sporty ride??? And as for as me, I pulled up behind this car on a 1-lane road, but I was tailgating like crazy so that I could cruise up and see how "fit" the driver of this vehicle really was. And, I must admit that I was curious if it was a male or a female driver. Finally, I was able to kind of pass them while they were in a turn lane at a stop light, and it was a girl, and yes, she did like thin, but no, she did not look all that. Girl, next renewal, check into generic plates, please.

The Amy plate - Y M I L8 - You guessed it! Why am I late??? This seems to be the story of my life lately. I guess one reason that I'm going to be late today is that I'm blogging about license plates instead of getting ready for work. Another reason could be that I am yet again babysitter-less today because my new girl doesn't start until tomorrow. But, no matter what the situation, it is rare that I am anywhere close to on time. It just doesn't happen. At least if I had this on my license plates, people would know that I'm always late and they wouldn't need to take it personally.


OK, these are the only 3 that I can remember right now. I have seen a lot of other good ones, but being that JD has once again taken a liking to waking up screaming at all hours of the night, my memory is suffering and they're not coming back to me right now. Hope you enjoyed these!! :-)

Happy Birthday, JD!

Well, Happy 8 month birthday, that is! I cannot believe my little-bitty baby is 8 months old today!! Look at how old he looks in his most recent pictures... and how BIG he is!! I am so happy that we are at this stage - it is definitely MUCH preferred to the newborn stage - but gosh, my little guy is getting SO big, SO fast. I remember thinking that if we could just make it to 4 months with our sanity, we'd be OK. Now, we've doubled that and while the presence of my sanity is questionable, we've made it... and have the beginnings of a very handsome little guy, if I do say so myself.

While I meant this photo montage to go from youngest to oldest, this website wouldn't cooperate so here is my little man... from most recent to when he was just a kicking bundle of acid reflux in his mommy's belly. :-)

I went out last night.... one thing started leading to another...

Last night, I was lucky enough to meet one of my friends out for dinner... not only did I get to meet her for dinner, but Jeremy got home from work early and so I left early and was able to go to Once Upon a Child, and Toys R Us as well (exciting I know). We had dinner at Houlihan's and then once dinner was over we decided to move to the bar there to have a few drinks being that I don't get to see my friends nearly enough.

It was not a late night. I was home by 10:30. My kitchen, freshly cleaned from the day before, was a mess. There were crumbs on the floor, baby food containers still left out from JD's dinner, and a Taco Bell cup working on a nice water ring on my dining room table. Ugh. Annoyance. But, I did get to go out so that is the price I pay, I guess.

JD started to wake up about 4:30 this morning and anyone who knows my husband knows it was not him who was getting up with the baby. It seems that this ALWAYS happens... anytime I am not there to do the bedtime routine and put JD down, he always seems to wake up disturbingly early. I mean, 4:30.... really?????

I used to think that I always happened to choose that one night where the stars become mis-aligned that makes my son's night sleep skimpy as best to be the one night that is "my night"... my big, exciting, look-forward-to-it night out (which still means I'm home by 11 at the latest, but still, it's a night out nonetheless).

However, now I am coming to the conclusion that the stars aren't misaligned, but it's actually my son who just does not sleep as well when I am not the one who puts him down. Wonderful. So, any time I get my big night out, it means that I will come home and pay the price at home with a son who starts crying to see me at 4 in the morning.

So, a night out, it's really a double-edged sword. Yes, very fun. Yes, very good time. Yes, much needed break from mom-life which allows me to catch a glimpse of my prior life. However, it also means that I will also be the following combination the next day: tired, crabby & hungover, emphasis on tired.

I really have finally figured out that I need to sharpen my negotation skills so that when I negotiate "my night" with Jeremy that it also includes "my morning" the morning after that allows me to sleep in until at least 6:00. A girl can dream, can't she???

Adventures in Babysitting

Ugh, the dreaded babysitter situation. SUCH a dilemma in the world of a mom, unless you have YOUR mom or a good friend who stays home that you really trust, chances are that there are things that you would change about your sitter. I know I would. a *great* babysitter... wow, SUPER hard to find. I feel like there are women who do in-home daycare who WANT to do in-home care and women who HAVE to do in-home care, and wow, what a difference there is between the two.

I have been struggling with my sitter for some time now. There have been little circumstances here & there that have come up which have led me down the path of trying to find someone else for the past 3-4 months. But, every girl that I meet with has some sort of issue. One was an out-of-work teacher who could get a job at the drop of a hat. A lot of them cannot even spell on their online postings advertising for more children. The good ones are full, the bad ones are always in need of children. The list goes on & on.

So, I have not been happy with my sitter, but I have been dealing....until yesterday. I about lost it. To make a long story short, when I got JD home, his diaper had soaked through his shorts and was so wet that it drenched my shirt from carrying him. This is something that he has done only 1x to me - it was OVERNIGHT. If he is getting his diaper changed on a regular basis, this would not be happening. The diaper was swollen and just enormously filled with pee. When I got home I was FURIOUS.

Jeremy gets home and I confront him with the situation, tears coming out of my eyes as I think about poor little JD plopped in front of the TV all day sitting in his own urine with no relief. Jeremy's answer, "Well, take him to a new babysitter then." As if oh wow!, I hadn't thought of THAT.

THAT is the problem. THAT is the issue. Who in the world will be our new babysitter??? He announces it as if he has solved the world hunger issue with an answer that is just so downright logical. Just like he said, "Well, just go to the mall if you want to go." As if it were that easy.

So, for right now I am re-visiting the out-of-work teacher who does not have a job for August, knowing that she may get work at the last minute, and I guess I am OK with that, but that buys me some time to go on the hunt and at the very, very least, I know (OK, I hope) my son will have his diaper changed when it's wet.

Jon & Kate Plus the whole world, including Perez

Some of you may know that I was quite the Jon & Kate follower during my pregnancy days, then after seeing one too many shows and after watching Kate go from real-life-relatable-housewife-person to some jacked-up-mommy-with-plastic-surgery-and-book-tours-person, I have decided that I was completely 100% OVER the Gosselins!

Until (you all know) the latest drama.

It seems as if the Gosselins now have every single Tom, Perez, and Harry watching their every move. I saw an online article the other day showing photos of Kate spanking one of the girls. And then there is that video of Kate drinking water right in front of one of the twins. Seriously people. This has gone too far.

I think Jon is 110% to blame for this current turmoil. Who really cares if Kate can be a biotch? And honestly, are people seriously blaming her lesbian haircut?? Because I think she's had that for eons. If Jon decided he was over her, then Jon, go see an attorney and start divorce proceedings. Don't start running around with some 23-year-old hoochie mama all over town when you have 8 kids at home and a reality TV show.

I think the problem with cheating spouses is 2-fold. (a) we have the husbands who think that for some reason their behavior is "justified" because their spouse is a "bitch" or has a "lesbian haircut" then (b) we also have little hoochies who for some reason do not think that they are worth enough to have 100% of a man, they feel that they need to have whatever percentage of him is left after his wife and children are done with him.

Even though I have lived this problem up close and personal, for the love, I still do not understand it. I can understand how marriage can be difficult, and I can imagine how hard life must be with 8 children, but I don't understand how you can resolve that one in your head at the end of the day, somehow kidding yourself into thinking that your behavior is OK.

And, just as bad is the woman who can justify in her own head why it is OK to pursue a married man and try to convince him to leave his wife. Hello honey! If he will cheat WITH you, then he will cheat ON you. Time to get a clue, along with some self-esteem!

Anyway, I have been sucked into all this drama recently, even though I hate to watch it because I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be for Kate... having to go through this turmoil in her marriage, then have the entire world watch and critique her parenting, blame the affair on her, and then find some way to explain all of this to her 8 children. Un-thinkable.

But, I guess we will all tune into J&K on Monday night to see their "big revelation" that they are making on the show. Hopefully it will be that they are taking a break from their reality show to heal their family and focus on themselves, but somehow I doubt that is coming...

Adventures in Road Tripping

Wow, what an adventure that I experienced this weekend!! For some reason I was dumb/naive enough to think that it would be an extra-great idea to pack up my handsome little man and make the 4-5 hour voyage up to Chicago to visit one of my roommates from college, Michelle. Upon completion of this trip and now having reached the point of total exhaustion, I have to admit that I had no idea what I was in for.

The drive up there actually went very smoothly. We left promptly after JD's dinner at 5:30 and he was a tired, tired little boy. The problem was that mommy was also very tired, so our first order of business was a 20 oz. Mountain Dew.

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?? I knew I would need the caffeine to survive the drive... however actually obtaining a Mountain Dew would mean stopping, unstrapping JD, get both of us into the gas station, etc etc. Luckily, I was still in town at this point and Daddy met us at the gas station to say goodbye, so he was able to be on baby duty while I was on Mountain Dew duty.

Fast forward about 2 hours into the trip.... Man, oh man, did I have to pee!!! The problem was that I had a sleeping baby in the back seat and the slightest mis-step could lead to total & complete meltdown. Eventually I noticed an ominous odor eminating from the back seat and realized that we would now stop on JD's terms.

Both of us went into the McDonald's bathroom. I changed his diaper easily enough, but now was the tricky part. How in the world was I going to tinkle when I had a baby in my arms????? This was one of those "take-for-granted" moments that I never thought of ahead of time - I never thought that I would need to take extra precautions to ensure that I would be able to potty on the trip up.

But, alas, I finally wiggled out of my pants while still holding JD, since of course did not want him hanging out on the bathroom floor but let me assure you that this was (a) extremely difficult to maneuver and (b) very time consuming.

We made it back out into the restaurant finally where I gave JD his bottle, but by the end of the bottle, he stunk up his diaper again, so back to the changing table we did go. But, finally, after all of that, we made it back on the road.

Anyway, after a few more hours, a few more malfunctions with his personal DVD player, and without another sip of Mountain Dew for Mommy (out of fear I would have to brave another stop), we made it to Naperville in a cool 5 hours.

We had a GREAT time up there... the highlight of course was seeing Michelle, Ryan, Lucy & Henry, but seeing Kenny Chesney unexpectedly was a close 2nd!!! The show was amazing and I am his new #1 BIGGEST fan... not that I wasn't a fan before but I think I have found true love now. :-)

Anyway, JD was EXHAUSTED after our weekend when it came time to brave the trip home. I thought it was sure going to be smooth sailing since it was likely that JD would pass out when we left...and SURELY sleep all the way through the ride.

However, I did not count on one dumb-ass gas station lady. I stopped for gas reluctantly after I had been on the road for an hour. I swiped my debit card at the pump and quietly began to fill my tank. After all $47.51 worth of gas had filled me up, the gas station lady comes over the load speaker.

"Um, pump 7, it's prepay or debit only."

I think to myself, OK, I DID prepay WITH my debit card. What is the problem? I thought surely this broad was confused, so I considered getting back into my car. Instead, I shouted back into the vast gas station darkness, "But I did prepay."

"Pump Seven. Prepay. Cash or Debit. Only."

Ugh, irritation. I got JD out of his car seat, journeyed into the gas station, only to have the attendant tell me that she confused me with Pump 8 and that my gas was already paid for.

But, the damage was done. To make a long story short, JD pretty much screamed for a small portion of every half hour the entire journey from that point home as he fought sleep and refused to relax. So, I had to stop. Then stop again. Then stop again. Then stop again.

Ugh. All of this when mommy was again very tired plus add a hangover into the mix and you have one very nervewracking car ride for both mommy & baby.

We made it home all in one piece though at about 9:30 only to have Daddy say, "Oh, wow, I'm glad you guys are home. I'm SO TIRED."

Right.....

Our first swim lesson

Wow! What a day!! JD had his very first swim lesson today and he did GREAT...well...aside from coming alarmingly close to falling asleep while he was on the kickboard, that is. He really loved the water and surprisingly, he did not mind being dunked either. I pulled out my mom suit and it was nice to see that I was not the worst mom body in the room.

Anyway, JD LOVED it. Plus, he was EXHAUSTED at the end of the half hour class. I pulled him out of the pool and we made our way to the changing table in the women's locker room so that I could unwrap the "present" JD had delivered for me in his little swimmers diaper.

While I was changing his diaper, I was talking away to my friend Ashley, and while we were standing there, some mom came up and used this little metal container that was fasted to the wall right next to the changing table. The mom came up, deposited some item into the container, it made a deep wiiirrrr-wiiirrrr-wiiiirrrr noise, and then the mom was done.

I looked at Ashley like "What was that?" and my mind heard "Trash compactor." Ahh... perfect... some sooped-up diaper destroyer that could take my soiled swimmie off my hands.

I deposited the diaper, along with a few wipes into this contraption, waited for the wiiirrr-wiiirrr-wiiirrr, and then look inside to make sure the deed was done, but surprisingly my diaper was still inside. "OK, maybe I didn't wiirr-wiirr long enough." I pressed the lid down again to allow ample time for diaper destruction, but alas.... STILL there!!!!!

I looked at Ashley and asked what was going on with our friend diaper compactor.

"Ummm.... that's for wet suits."

OH. Whoops!!!!

I had been making the YMCA swimsuit dryer contraption spin around a poopy diaper inside for cycle after cycle. What a dummy!!!!!!!! Obviously, I should've investigated the Y more thoroughly before our first swim class. After my blunder, the swim dryer had to be shut down until it could be bleached out and disinfected. Wonderful.

Anyway, word to the wise. At the Y, there is a metal contraption that DRIES SWIMSUITS and then if you look really hard, you will find a diaper genie to take that soiled swimmie off your hands. Good to know. :-)

Further Education

You know how there are certain times in your life that you can remember just like they were yesterday? Well, I'm doing good to remember the REAL yesterday anymore, but there are still random memories from my younger days that pop into my head from time to time... some good, some bad, and some downright ugly. One of those popped into my head when I was trying to come up with a good name for my blog. After trying about a million names that have already been taken, I remembered my MRS degree.

When I was in high school, I worked at the local animal hospital & all & all, it was a job that I really loved. I'm an animal person, so I got to be around animals all day, plus I got out of school an hour early to go work there senior year, and I was always out of there by 7:30 every night, which meant I didn' thave to leave my social life behind to go work. It was a good gig for a high schooler.

I was working the front counter one evening the summer before I left for college, and one of the doctor's pointed that out my soon-to-begin higher education to one of our clients. He said, "Oh, really? Where are you going?" I replied, "The University of Illinois." He said, "Oh yeah, whatcha studying?" I said, "Oh, I don't know... I haven't really made up my mind just quite yet." He says, "Oh, I'd have figured you were going up there for your MRS degree." Stupid me was a little slow on the pick-up that day. I said, "No, I was thinking either business or vet med."

After he left, I finally figured it out... my M R S degree - going to college to find a man! Hardy, har, har, Mr. Client-with-the-mean-ol-grumpy-dog. I was not that kind of girl... I was going to college to learn, dangit!!

Anyway, I did earn a business degree from U of I, and I guess for all those interested, I guess you could say that I earned a MRS degree as well.... one of them worked out better than the other... I'll let you take a guess on that one. :-)

But, for some reason, that conversation has stuck with me, and over the years I have learned that your MRS degree is not something that can ever be completed... it's kind of like one of those licenses where you always have to take continuing education when you think that you're an expert already.

And, even harder is completing your MRS degree with an emphasis in MOM... and that's what I'm working on these days.

Yours,
Amy Vacca, MRS/MOM

I just threw up a little in my mouth!

Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, what a day I had yesterday. It was the day of landlording adventures... not close to the absolute disgust-ment that was Jim & Bernice, but the grossness stooped to a whole new level.

Jeremy and I went over to clean/paint/update one of the apartments in the building we own (which...as a sidenote... will someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE buy it???), and the day was filled with adventures as usual. We arrived to the apartment to find that on the surface it really wasn't as "bad" as I thought it would be. There had been a single guy in his late 20s ish that had lived there for the past 3 years, so you just know that it could not be good.

The flooring was atrocious and the bathtub was seriously BLACK from all the grime, and the ex-tenant was nice enough to leave his old shower curtain hanging there which had turned a weird shade of bluish gray from all of the soap scum and mildew.

But... while that did make me shudder and swear out loud as I thought about the time that we would have to get this place back up to snuff. It was not the worst.

Oh no, it gets better.

So... yours truly was going around painting the walls in the bedroom. I was preparing to paint and was taping off the walls where they met up with the carpet. All of the sudden I saw something very strange.

At first glance it looked like dried shreds of mozzarella cheese. I sat there puzzled for a minute at what exactly had made my acquaintenance....then....it hit me.... like a ton of bricks.

Toenails.

Yes, TOENAILS!!!

(puke, puke, puke)

And, when I tell you that there were seriously 3 years worth of toenail clippings in a 10-inch radius, I shit you not. Seriously, this guy must've went to the same corner of his room to clip his toenails every single freakin' time and then let them "hang out" on his floor without giving a single thought about cleaning them up.

Seriously... there were SO MANY toenails it was freakin' unbelievable.

Then, I had to vacuum them up (man, Jeremy owes me SO BIG it is not even funny) and it was all clickety-click-click-clickety-click in the vacuum cleaner as they got sucked up....

Absolutely flippin' disgusting. Yes, it is possible that one of our tenants has surpassed Jim & Bernice and taken us to a new low in our rental property adventures.

Or....perhaps maybe not... Jim & Bernice were pretty bad.

What a day!!!

Take a look at what is going on in my backyard today... there's 3 dogs out there, count 'em. But, there's only 11 legs between the 3 of them. Figure that one out! :-)

We have been charged with watching my in-laws' dog Buck for the weekend and when Buck is here, look out!! Within the first hour that he was here, he managed to use his sole front leg to dig a hole under the fence and escape our yard. Also within that first hour, 2 of the 3 dogs were covered in mud. Makes for a great start to a fun day. Once Buck was safely re-locked back in the yard, my dog Maverick (the big golden) thought it would be fun to terrorize Buck by chasing him around the yard trying to hump him (yes, my dog Maverick is a homo-dog). Then, Annie joins in the fun by chasing the two of them around the yard, barking at everything she sets her eyes on, and the games have officially begun. Then, I step out to take their picture, and they all manage to look sweet & innocent for a minute... and that's when I snapped this picture. "What? We're being SO good back here, mom. Go back inside." Ugh, the 3 of them... what a disaster!!!

I think one of the most trying things about being a mom is that you are always "on"... you are always in demand, and there is always someone needing your attention. From the second I wake up, which is never on my own and which is always according to JD's schedule, I am "on." Feed, play, diaper, nap, play, feed, diaper, feed, nap. And in between all that, squeeze my "job" at work and my "job" at home. It never ends.

Then, mixed into all this drama, I have a dog named Maverick... who LOVES me. He always wants to be RIGHT next to me, RIGHT in the way of where I'm about to step, RIGHT in between me & whatever I'm trying to grab, RIGHT outside of the bathroom door when I'm in the shower. It's mom mom mom mom mom mom mom all the time.

And, not that I don't love being a mom, not that I don't like being needed, and not that I don't love my dogs, but Good Lord, it can be is EXHAUSTING. Today is one of those days... 1 7 month old baby who is fuss, fuss, fuss today and 3 dogs that are bark, bark, bark today can really drive a girl nuts. Just needed to vent.

Losing my mind...

OK, so I realize I've been a blog slacker, but when I logged in to make another post today, I saw I officially have 2 followers!!! Wow, this is so exciting to me!!! Thanks girls!! :-) Hopefully you enjoy my rants.

So, recently I've come to the conclusion that I may be on the brink of losing my mind and losing my sanity... or maybe when I saw "on the brink" I really mean "have totally passed the point of." I don't know for sure, but I think it's close.

One thing that I've noticed about my life as Mommy is that I am constantly "narrating" my day. Whenever JD is in the room with me, I feel as if I need to be in constant contact or constant conversation with him. I don't really like it to be dull or quiet. So, I'm always saying "Time to change JD's diaper" or "Time for Mommy to wash the dishes, what do you think, JD?" or "Time for Mommy's bottle now" as I open my fridge for my bedtime white zin night cap.

Now, I don't really mind being in constant conversation with my son... and I do use the word "conversation" loosely as it is always one-sided although I may get an "Ahhhh!!!" or a dribble of drool in response. But, I think this is an outside sign of my thread of sanity that I am left clinging to.

I took JD with me to the grocery store the other day. This little man LOVES to shop - he loves all the colors and sounds... and well, let's face it. You've all seen his pictures- he is a CHUNK... he just loves the sight of food.

Well, all through the grocery store, I am just chatting along "Hmmm.... do you think Daddy would like it if Mommy bought some broccoli, or do you think he would like some potatoes instead?" (pause) "Broccoli?? Good choice, me too." "What do you think, should we buy 2% or skim milk?" "Mmmm...yummy.... look at those apples!! JD likes apples, don't you, JD?" You get my drift. The sad thing is that I was doing this kind of subconsciously... not really even realizing that I was speaking my "thoughts"... I guess I was in kind of an out-of-the-house-induced trance!

About halfway through the grocery store, I realized that I was doing this when I said, "Gosh, where do they keep the olives in this place? Do you know?" And one of my fellow shoppers actually answered me. "Oh, I think they're in aisle 2, honey!" Whoops.

So, there it is. I am now the crazy lady in the grocery store that talks to strangers. Like I said, I have lost my mind.

Mother's Day

Here we are, on the brink of my first official Mother's Day. I remember last Mother's Day... I went to church with my in-laws and when they asked all the mothers to stand, my mother in law insisted that I stand because I was preggo with my little peanut. I did get a flower at that service, too, so I guess I semi have celebrated Mother's Day before.

But, this mother's day is a HECK of a lot different. I was a pseudo mom before, but now I am a real-life, full-fledge one! So, I expect it to go a little differently. Just in case my husband is reading, I would like to add a list of things that I would like for Mother's Day:

- My husband to do laundry - ALL 27 loads that need to be done on the weekends after our family gets done with a week's worth of clothes. All of the clothes folded, put away & hung in a timely manner.

- My husband to make me dinner. Good dinner served on the dinner table, not on the T.V. trays and a nice bottle of wine with dinner. The wine that I like, not the wine that he likes.

- My husband to prepare all bottles & bowls of baby food for my son. Feeding him a meal or 2 would be a plus, but as a mommy, I don't mind giving those snuggly little bottles at the end of the day.

- My husband to wake up whenever my son wakes up and be the first line of contact for him in the morning, regardless of how early it is. I would like to sleep in - undisturbed - until at least 9 am. Wouldn't that be something????

- Oh yeah, and I don't really need a gift, just my little son is gift enough, but it would be nice to use my spa gift certificate that has been sitting around unused in my drawer since JD was 2 weeks old. Maybe somehow my husband can finangle that as well.

So, in short, I would like my husband to be me for a day... and in turn... I get to spend a day as him. That's the gift I want - spend a day as my husband. What a wonderful life he leads! So, I guess if you think about it, every day for him is "Father's Day." That for sure means I should be off the hook for him this year!!!! :-) I guess that's why I say a woman's work is never done... yet... oddly enough, a man's work never seems to begin!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMMIES OUT THERE!!!!!

Former Grocery Store Snob

I must admit, I have been quite the grocery store snob in my day. It all started right when I graduated college.... one of my friends actually ran into the poo of a child smack dab in the middle of a discount grocery store aisle, and from that day forward, I vowed to spare no expense in an attempt to avoid this type of trashery.

However, my husband & I have recently read the book, "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey and are trying to identify different habits in our daily lives that we could change in an attempt to save some money on a day-to-day basis. Right off the bat, my husband (the non-grocery shopper that he is) clued in on my grocery habits. "Babe, you're going to have to hit Shop-n-Save.... and while you're at it, why don't you stop at Aldi, too???"

Immediately, a flashing red warning light started to sound in my mind. Shop n Save?!?!?!? Aldi?!?!?!?!? Who exactly does my husband think I am? Someone who bags her on groceries??? Um, I don't think so!

But, in the financial interest of our family, I decided to give in and at least give it a try. Shop n Save has not been bad at all - and surprisingly, I do get quite excited about the deals that I find there - esp the $10 off $50 Thursdays! My husband & I have been known to join forces on these days with 2 carts, take the store by storm, and end up getting $20 off $100 of groceries. For a gal who does not have all day to cut coupons, this is quite the accomplishment, I feel!!!

However.... Aldi. I pulled up into the parking lot and decided I had nothing to lose and walked inside. Initially, I realize that everyone has a cart except for me. "Dang, I missed grabbing a cart outside!!!!" Amateur.

Then, I realize out of the people who had no carts, they were carrying their own plastic grocery bags to use as a "basket" while shopping. Crap. I had not thought of this either.

I tried to keep my head up and start shopping the price tags, and I was pleasantly surprised! $1.49 for a pound of butter!! $1.99 for a gallon of milk!!! 85 cents for a loaf of bread!!! And, don't even get me started on how great the fruit/veggie prices are!!!

My head started to spin and my hands started to grab all the deals in sight. Before I knew it, my grab was filled to the brim, and I got in line. This is when I really noticed that everyone had brought their own bags. I quickly grabbed a re-useable grocery bag (to the tune of $1.99) and checked out without too much embarassment at my obvious lack of knowing how the heck to work an Aldi!

Since I couldn't take advantage of all the deals initially, I did not hesitate to return the next week. Upon this trip, I remembered that I needed to (a) bring my own bags and (b) grab a cart prior to entering the store. However, a word to the wise - you need a quarter to grab a cart (you get it back when you return it).

2 months have passed and I think I have only been to Schnuck's once and Dierberg's maybe twice since then (all for just little odds & ends) and I have to smile when I think of all the money I've saved!!!

Just Go

So, today is the day before my husband and I get to get the heck out of town and go down to Nashville with friends of ours to go see the one & only Dave Mathews Band. Needless to say, there is a LOT to be done - we have to get our son ready to spend the weekend at Grandma's (and he does not travel light), the dogs ready to be gone all weekend, and of course, everything planned for us to be gone all weekend.

So..hmm... with all this to be done, what does my husband do this afternoon?? Oh, he takes the afternoon off work....to golf. Um, right.

So, starting at 9:15 this morning, JD and I left the house and had been going non-stop. I called my husband at about 3:00 to see what his plans were i.e. when he would be home.

Him: "Um, babe, we just started golfing not that long ago, I probably won't be home for another few hours."

Me: "Well, I was hoping to get to go to the mall before the day is over and it's about J.D.'s naptime."

Him: "Just go to the mall if you want to go."

Hmmm.... let's think about those first 2 words - Just Go. Does a mommy ever get to just go??? I don't think so. Allow me to explain.

I decided to take my husband's advice. I stopped off briefly at the house to unload some groceries & squeeze in a quick bottle for J.D. and started on my way to the mall, hoping that J.D. would just catch a quick snooze in the car and would be able to endure about an hour of me shopping. But, today, mommy did not get so lucky. J.D. was jibber-jabbering the whole ride and did not catch one wink of sleep.

But, I was at the mall (this is a once every few month occasion), and darnit, I was going shopping! I packed him into his stroller and thought I would just do a quick lap around the mall.

Problem #1 - I did not strategically park so that I was close to the elevator, thus I lost a good 15 minutes of shop time just tracking down the elevator and using it to get to the lower level of shopping. Frustrating.

Problem #2 - Finally make it into store #1 and J.D. is doing great. I really could not believe my luck at this point. I stacked up some items to go & try on, had a little teeny-bopper let me into the fitting room which was big enough for J.D. and me both, and I started to try on clothes. Well, let me rephrase that. I stripped down to my skimpies and started to try on a pair of too-small jeans when J.D. started to SCREAM bloody murder and it took me a good 10 minutes to calm him down - at this point, he crashes out in his stroller so I could actually finish trying on in peace (Thank you, God.), however, I'm sure the other teeny-bops lingering around were really enjoying listening to J.D. cry at the top of his lungs.

Problem #3 - Just when I go to leave the fitting room ol' girl teeny-bopper says, "Oh wow! SO CUTE!!!" towards the sleeping baby J.D. which wakes him up, startles him, upon which he starts to SCREAM bloody murder again. Just great. This continues until I'm able to check-out (which there was a line) and we leave the store.

Problem #4 - I did not get to do a full shopping trip because of all the above shenanigans so I was forced to buy a few items un-tried-on which really should be rule #1 on the Don't Do List for new mommies shopping.


So....hmmm.... did I get to just go??? I don't think so. I think my husband got to "just go" golfing all afternoon. I don't think mommies ever get that privilege.



P.S. This does not include my other day's adventures which include entertaining a 6 month old baby while waiting for an hour & 40 minute oil change and trying to calm a baby who insists on high-pitch squealing throughout the grocery store. Just Go?????!???? Um, yeah right.

Opening Day...

So, I was watching a Tivo'd episode of Oprah the other day and the topic was something like "The Other Side of Being a Mom" or something like that, and a few of the women on there had blogs and were talking about how therapeutic it is for them, so I decided to breathe some fresh new life into my myspace blog and begin anew here on blogspot. Back in my younger pre-mommy days, I used to post regularly about my trials and my tribulations through my life, and I actually did enjoy doing it, however, in my older, post-mommy days, it is hard to find the time... but that is one of my '09 Resolutions - time for ME. I will try to keep the pictures of my little precious one to a minimum and try to keep it as real as possible. Like one of the moms on Oprah said, "I love being a mom, I just hate doing it." Not that I hate doing it... most days I love it when I get to cuddle and love my little boy for those precious "at home" hours during the work week, but Good Lord, it can be hard. And with that, I will start....

THE MOM JEAN

I came to a very alarming conclusion today, and I believe I have reached a new low point in my life - I think I actually understand the Mom Jean. *shudder* Just the thought scares me. Seriously.

Some of you may know that I am planning a trip to Nashville this weekend, not to see my sexy single friend Lucy, but to go see the sexy single (I think) man Dave Mathews with my hubby and our friends Mike & Kait. I seriously could NOT be more excited for this outing, and I have been trying to plan my weekend wardrobe for months... or weeks at least.

This brings me to a problem. My wardrobe. *shudder* Just the thought scares me. Seriously. After having my precious little one, my life has stumbled back into a new-found "normalcy" of sorts, and I guess you could say that my body has stumbled into a new-found "normalcy" as well. Emphasis on new-found.

I am proud to say that I am actually 5 lbs lighter than I was before I got pregnant, although, I really don't think that you'd know it by looking at me. After years of following celebrity gossip and celebrity moms and ignorming the real world around me, I was naive enough to think that post-baby bodies actually resemble pre-baby bodies. Oh, how wrong I was.

So, sifting through my closet this morning, I try on top after top (not enough room for boobs or shows too much saggy mom-cleavage or has somehow morphed into being too short) and pant after pant (creates muffin top or does not want to snap around my hips or accentuates curves that should not be shown in public). I thought to myself, "hmmm...I need to go to the mall. Obviously. I need to get some new pants. Obviously. What do I want my pants to look like?"

The Mom Jean popped into my head!! Something high-wasted to conceal and smooth the below-the-belly-button area, dark in wash to give the illusion of a smaller bottom, yet long enough so that I can wear heels (which are a must) to elongate my legs. Doesn't this sound somewhat familiar???

Now, not that I am going to verge into the tapered leg jean (a definite "don't", I believe, for any girl above 18 years old) or go back to the stone-wash jean circa 1987. But, that high waistline is looking oddly attractive.

I'm left wondering where those minus 5 lbs came from??? I think my doctor's scale must seriously be showing me an optical illusion. I am 5 lbs lighter, but my body is definitely not the same. Just for fun I may post pictures of me in a swimming suit. Just for fun. And just maybe. I think it might be oddly liberating.

Anyway, so there you have it. Similar to the pregnancy day where I thought about wearing an entire outfit that was mint-green and came straight from 1994 due to it's stretchy elasticity and comfort, I am now contemplating where in the world one might find a tasteful pair of Mom Jeans.